


The Way We Were

by MadisonAvenue21



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Comfort, F/M, Hurt, Marriage, Pregnant, angsty, cutesy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:22:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23249926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadisonAvenue21/pseuds/MadisonAvenue21
Summary: Currently pregnant with Alexis, Moira laments on her life and her capabilities as a mother
Relationships: Johnny Rose/Moira Rose
Comments: 8
Kudos: 36





	The Way We Were

**Author's Note:**

> Hiee, this is my first Schitt's Creek story (so please don't roast me too hard lol) I'm happy to be one of the few fighting the good fight to give the fandom more Johnny/Moira based stories lmao  
> Kudos and comments always appreciated xox
> 
> I have a Schitt's Creek tumblr => Moirasroseswigs <= you can follow me there and we can be Schitt's Creek pals :)

“Thank God you’re home, I don’t know how much more I can take, John. David has been screaming all day and he won’t listen to word I tell him. Adelina has been missing all day, I finally found her phone number, apparently she’s on vacation? Who gave her a vacation during this calamitous time?” She placed a hand on her growing bump and fell into John’s arms.

“I did, Moira. She’s been working non-stop since you’ve been pregnant. I had to give her some time off.” John decided to withhold the rest of the information about Adelina threatening to quit if she didn’t get a vacation; he didn’t think Moira needed to hear that she was the reason Adelina needed one in the first place. “It’ll be okay, sweetheart. I’ll talk to him.” He rubbed her back and placed a reassuring kiss on top of her head.

“ _Please_ , I can’t think straight. Who can work in conditions like these.” John sighed, determined to stay positive.

“Remember what the doctor said, we have to keep your stress levels down. Pick a happy place, yeah? Think about all the amazing places we’ve been, Italy, Spain, London, Greece.”

“Greece…” Moira pouted, placing her head in the crook of John’s neck. “We were so happy then.” She said with a sigh.

“But, still just as happy now.” Moira’s eyes darted back and forth before lifting her head up to look at John. She gave him a weak smile, squeezing his hand before walking away. He didn’t miss a beat, grabbing her wrist.

“Hey, hey.”

“What?” she said softly and turned around to meet his gaze.

“You are happy, aren’t you, sweetheart?” Moira swallowed thickly, she looked at John with sympathetic eyes before cocking her head slightly. John looked at her with disbelief, running his hand over his mouth.

“Oh, okay.” Their hands slowly drifted apart as John pushed past her gently, heading for the front door.

“Joh—” She let him go, knowing that whatever she would say now wouldn’t be enough. Watching him walk out the door hurt worse than if she had just told him the truth in the first place. 

******

It had been hours since Moira had seen John. Her mind raced with the thought of him never coming back, of leaving her alone, especially as she dealt with the prospects of putting a rowdy David to bed without him. After the day she had, it was all too much, and it broke her; out of nowhere she burst into tears of frustration and sadness and only then did David finally settle down and do as Moira told him. He had never seen her cry.

She waited up for John, as long as she could, trying to read her latest novel of choice but never getting past the first paragraph of the first page. She finally gave up and decided to head to bed despite John’s absence. She settled into their Texas king, her arms wrapped around his pillow, the lingering scent of his cologne being the only thing that even came close to calming her. At last, she heard footsteps walking through the halls, she finally was able to breathe again. Knowing he came home eased her anxieties, but her guilt still remained heavy.

She waited, staring down the door hoping for John to come to bed but he never did, at least not in their bed. Moira couldn’t say she was surprised. She heard one of the many doors in their corridor close with force and she suddenly had to make peace with sleeping alone tonight. Moira tossed and turned for what she thought was hours, she couldn’t get to sleep, it almost taunted her. It was the first time they hadn’t slept together in the same bed since they were married. Three doors down, John was in the same predicament in one of their many guest bedrooms. Tossing and turning, knowing the spot next to him was cold and empty.

Fed up, Moira wrapped herself up in her robe before creeping down the hall into the room John was currently sleeping—or rather not sleeping—in. She slowly walked over to the end of the bed, sitting down on the edge with her back to him.

“Are you still awake?” She whispered. There was a long pause of silence, she held her breath waiting for his response.

“Yeah. Can’t get to sleep.” She felt her breath release and she closed her eyes in relief.

“Me neither. I can’t sleep in that big fucking bed without you.” He hummed in solidarity. “You ran away before I had a chance to say anything.”

“Your silence was enough.” She could hear the hurt in his voice, as much as he tried to suppress it.

“John… I didn’t—I didn’t mean I was unhappy with our life… I’m just unhappy with mine.”

“Isn’t that the same thing?” He asked, sitting up.

“No, it’s not.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I just… thought we would have more time together, time to be ourselves and not just ‘mommy and daddy’. I thought I’d have more time for my job, to take roles I always dreamed of, to…to travel like we did before, with no worries. Remember when we could just pick up and go on a whim?”

“That hasn’t really changed, Moira. We still go out, and you’re still working, and we just went to Croatia not that long ago.”

“Of course, things have changed, John. I can’t take another job while I’m pregnant because of the doctor’s orders, and Sunrise Bay will only film me from the chest up, I’m barely in any scenes anymore. Oh, and the nightmare that was packing for Croatia to make sure we had everything for David, and then cried and pouted the entire trip because he missed his toys at home.” John watched Moira work herself up over her recent memories and his brows furrowed.

“Are you having regrets about… us?” He asked, afraid of the answer.

“No, No. I don’t regret one minute with you.”

“And the kids?” she closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she shook her head.

“Moira.”

“What.” her voice cracked.

“You know, I know you better than that.”

“What do you want me to say?” John got up and walked towards the end of the bed, taking a seat next to Moira.

“Before we got married, I asked you what you wanted. Do you remember that?”

“Yes.” She placed both hands on the swell of her stomach, taking a deep breath.

“And when we talked, one of the many topics of conversation was children.” He turned to look at her, but she never met his eyes. “I told you that I wanted a house full of kids, as joke, and your face went completely pale.” He chuckled at the memory. “And you told me—”

“I told you, we would have two children, both boys, if I could help it.”

“David and Alex.” They say together. Moira let out a breathy laugh. “Alexis now.”

“And is this what you wanted? David and _Alexis_?”

“I do hold affection for our children, John.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know what you meant.”

“Then talk to me, sweetheart.” John pleaded and Moira’s face wrinkled.

“What do you want me to tell you, John? No, I didn’t want children. I only had kids to make you happy…”

“Is—is that true?” he gulped, and she didn’t answer. “Moira.”

“You were always so excited about the notion of having kids, John. Far more than I ever was but, I didn’t know how to tell you. And then, when I found out I was pregnant with David… I wish you could have seen your face; I never saw you so happy. I just didn’t have the heart to tell you, and by that time, it was too late anyway…” She rubbed her bump and John’s eyebrows wrinkled.

“Moira—”

“I don’t know how to be a mother, John. David has made that woefully clear.”

“No one knows how to be a parent. I have no idea what I’m doing either. We learn together.”

“But I didn’t have the relationship with my parents that you had with yours. My father was gone, my mother was out all the time doing God knows what, I barely saw her; I practically raised Deedee. I tried so hard and it was never enough. What if I’m not enough for these kids? What if I ruin them like my mother ruined me.”

“Stop it, why would you say that.”

“Because it’s true.”

“No, it’s not true, Moira.” He said sternly. “It’s not your fault you were forced to grow up too soon. That’s a heavy burden to put on a child. You did the best you could.” Moira chortled.

“Yeah, and now look at me. _Look_ at Deedee, my God.” She covered her face with her hands.

“I want you to know, you could have told me, sweetheart.” Moira shook her head. “I would have understood.”

“How could I? I felt like I was ruining your life, like you should have married someone else. Someone who could have given you what you wanted. Who could have been an actual mother to your children.” She began to cry, and John immediately wrapped his arms around her.

“I wanted you, Moira. That’s all I needed.” He squeezed her tight. “You are enough, and you’re a great mother to David. You tell him stories while he watches you put on your makeup, you have Adelina make all this favorite foods, you play dress up with him, and no doubt when this baby comes, you’ll love her in your own way just like you do David.”

“I think you were telling the truth when you said you wanted a house full of kids.” She wiped her eyes and John shook his head.

“I would still love you, no matter how many children we had.” John assured her and kissed her temple. He placed his hand on top of hers that was still resting on her bump. “David and… Alexis, they’re all I need now. Besides you, of course.” He smiled and that in turn made her crack a small smile.

“I’m sorry if what I said hurt you, John. I am happy, it’s just… you know how I get sometimes. I work myself up and now, I can’t have my medication while I’m pregnant.”

“It’s alright, I’m just glad you told me. No more secrets.” She nodded and leaned in, placing a chaste kiss on his lips before they both stood up and made their way back to their bedroom.

“So, Alexis, huh?”

“Alexis.” She affirms. “I quite like the name.”

“When did you come up with this?”

“After you left, I had a lot of time to think.” She said quietly.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have walked out on you like that.” He slipped his hand around her waist and she smiled in forgiveness.

“Where did you go for all that time?”

“Crystal Lake.”

“Really? I haven’t been there since… since the proposal.” They enter their bedroom and parted ways to their respective sides of the bed.

“It was the first place that came to me. I panicked, I suddenly thought I was losing you.”

“Never, I just have to remind myself sometimes that you’re with me, not against me.”

“Me, David _and_ Alexis.” He winked and they both smiled before nestling into bed, the smell of his cologne and his heartbeat lulling her to sleep.


End file.
